what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
