the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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