Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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