Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
