The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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