i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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