We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
accomplished twins. life is a go
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
