...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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