You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
