her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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