Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
