remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Well I just put wine in my tea
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
