R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
