he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
