ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
