so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
