hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
