You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
