Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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