the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
