i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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