seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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