Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
