We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
from now on my penis is your penis
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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