she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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