so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
