I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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