Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
