Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
