I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
