Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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