I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize