I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
