and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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