I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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