He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
