He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
