I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
