OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
