i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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