Whod you bang
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
