I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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