the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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