we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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