Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
