Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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