is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
