I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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