I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
