Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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