Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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