she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
