I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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