i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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