He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
