also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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