So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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