Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
