He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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