Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
