I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you win again, gameday.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
