He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
