How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
