Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize