i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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